Substances of Death
by Kaegi
Summary: Natsuki makes cookies for his and Syo's lovely daughter and Syo is trying desperately to keep them away from her. At such a young age she doesn't understand that she may or may not die from Natsuki's "lovely"... substances of death. (married life NatsukixSyo oneshot, based several years later)


"Papa, I want a cookie." Bright green eyes looked up to her father as the small four-year-old leaned against the side of the couch.

"Really!" Natsuki shot up from his seat, dropping the TV remote that had been in his hands with a loud clatter to the floor, "one of the ones I made!?"

The little girl slowly nodded, not fully understanding what she was about to get herself into. After her adoption, now three years ago, one would have thought young Ami Shinomiya-Kurusu to know that her father's cooking was nothing to be excited for.

Instantly after he said it and blonde hatted figure jumped into the living room, to stand between his daughter and husband. "Don't you dare." He told him, after having avoided this awful day for so long he wasn't about to let his daughter get killed.

"But Syo-channnnn~ I made them just for you two!" Natuski began to pout at his ever stubborn husband.

"I know you did, which is exactly why I'm _not _going to let you give them to her!"

"Ooh, do you want them all for yourself?"

"N- …" he thought about this for a moment, it wouldn't have been the first time he was forced to eat the other's blonde's god awful cooking in order to same someone from near death. After the years he had already come to learn what to expect which helped at least get it into his mouth. No doubt he would be sick the next day and Natsuki would spend the whole time desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It was worth it though, their daughter had done absolutely nothing wrong, all she wanted was a cookie. "Y-… yes." He reluctantly said as his face filled with despair that the other took for shame.

"But Daddy!" the girl's hands came put to pull on his shirt as she spun around him to stand between her two parents, "not fair!"

Syo made the mistake of looking down at her adorable face as it turned into one of her signature pouts. Oh no, he wouldn't fall for it. Only Natsuki fell for the fa-

"Then I'll make more~!" the blond gladly half skipped towards the connected kitchen, "enough for all of us!"

"No don't!" Syo spun around, his daughter letting go of his shirt, "it's uh-… it's-" he desperately searched for an excuse. "IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR DINNER!"

"But… it's only three o' clock…" Natuski paused, turning around and tilting his head in confusion.

Instantly Syo's head shot towards the clock at the other side of the room. Dammit he was right. "Then- um… Ami needs to take a bath."

"Okay~! I'll make some while you give her one!" One again he spun towards the kitchen.

"No she wants you to give her one!" Syo exclaimed as hand shot out towards the other, "r-right!?" his head turned towards their daughter as she looked up at him with big green eyes.

"I had a bath this morning." She stated, smiling at her father.

Dammit she wasn't making this easy, he was trying to save her. _Save her! _"W-well we're-…. WE'RE OUT OF EGGS!"

"Really?" Natuski tilted his head to the side and slowly walked into the kitchen, he pulled open the fridge and pulled out an egg carton only to reveal that it was, in fact, empty. "Ooh… that's too bad."

"Right! So you can't make any more cookies!"

"But I still have the ones from before~!" The blonde placed the empty carton on the counter and quickly grabbed a plate of questionable burnt clumps of ash.

Instantly Syo's face turned a lovely shade of green, nothing about those 'cookies' was okay. He had to get rid of them... he-… he had to do something.

Ami skipped towards the plate of '_cookies_' and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Her hand inched towards the light blue dish as Natsuki only smiled down at her, not realizing what he was about to do. Her fingers curled around possibly the darkest cookie and Syo could see it crumble slightly under her hold. Unknown substances poked out of the cookie, some the blonde was sure weren't edible in the slightest. The substance of death began to move towards her mouth and it began to slowly open.

No…

No she was going to do it.

Sh-… she had barely lived yet and today was going to be her last day on this earth! IT WASN'T FAIR!

"NOOOOOOO!" Suddenly Syo shot from his spot, his eyes dead set on one thing and one thing lone. The cookies.

He sprung towards the two in a slow motion segment of awesome and somehow grabbed the plate as well as the cookie in his young daughters' hand, in mid-air. Before either of them could react he was dashing around the corner and down the short hall. He had nowhere else to go, but years of practice from running away from his husband whenever he tried to make him dress up in frilly girl clothes taught him exactly what to do next.

Within a split second the door of their closet slammed shut behind him as he quickly locked it. In here he was safe, safe with- … with the weapons of destruction. He glanced down at the lump of ash still in his hand and roughly dropped it onto the plate with the others.

Now what? He had them and his daughter was safe but… what was he supposed to do? He knew that the second he got out of the closet Natsuki would glomp him, taking back the cookies and offering them to their daughter once again.

There was one way out of this and he knew it… it would take all his strength as the manliest of manly men. Slowly Syo slid down the door of the locked closet, the plate of mystery now resting on his knees. The scent of burnt fish and vanilla came to his nose. What the hell was in these?

"Syo-chan?" instantly he heard the sound of his husband's steps and his entire body tensed. He hadn't seen him dash into his dark hideout and with his luck he wouldn't find him soon. The steps faded and he let out a short sigh of relief. He would have to get this over with quickly.

Hesitantly Syo grabbed for the first cookie, he gulped. This was for Ami… he could do this.

-~:/\:~-

Half an hour later the closet door burst open and Syo tumbled out onto the soft carpet. He held his stomach, gasping for air as the bitter taste of several things he hoped to never remember stuck to his tongue. He was past feeling like he was going to throw up and through his whole stomach might lurch out of his body at any second. Pain shot through his entire body as he let out a short groan. This was truly worse than death.

A head popped around the corner, "there you are Syo-chan!" Natsuki stated with a wide smile, stepping into the hall. The instant he did it Syo saw something that made him wish he had never been born. Natsuki stood down the hall holding a silver bowl as he mixed who knows what with a whisk an apron full of stains guarded his clothing.

"Ami and I went to the store and got more eggs, now we can make more cookies~!"

No.

Dear god no.


End file.
